"Hey You"

You've changed your tune any times
Since we've met
But I'll always recognize you
You are part of me
I feel you
Whether in Jamaica or in the Angel City
You are such a gift to me
Ooooh

Hey you
I gotta tell you my long time friend
I think of all those years you saw me through tears
And the good times that we spent

Hey you
You're my constant companion
You always let me explain just what I'm sayin'
And we've just begun
Uuuuh

I've got one wish for this music
To be an uplift and I need an uplift to deal
There are few songs all the people can sing along one song
Come along and sing it for real
Ooooh

Hey you
I gotta tell you my long time friend
I think of all those years you saw me through tears
And the good times that we spent

Hey you
You're my constant companion
You always let me explain just what I'm sayin'
And we've just begun
Uuuuh

As I wander around, town to town
Lost and found
When so many others come and go
(come and go)
The sweetness (sweetness)
Pulls me through

Hey you
I gotta tell you my long time friend
I think of all those years you saw me through tears
And the good times that we spent

Hey you
You're my constant companion
You always let me explain just what I'm sayin'
And we've just begun

Hey you
You never turned your back on me
When I gave up on myself
Hey you
You never turned your back on me
When I gave up on myself

Hey you
What would the world be like?
Without you around

Listening to Pandora earlier, this song combo came on. In this order...

( Dammit-Blink 182 )

followed by

( Mr. Brightside-The Killers )



...you listen.

Mr. Lonely by Akon Video


( Mr. Lonely by Akon Lyrics )


Nothing will ever be able to say better how i feel than this song. the hardest part is knowing that it doesn't even matter any more...

well, it's official, i <3 NY. haha. The World/Inferno Friendship Society at the Grand Ballroom was FANTASTIC. Hallowmas '09!

Before the show, sitting on the balcony, i could see the halloween fun being had downstairs. i watched as strangers sat in a circle and played duck duck goose with joy and excitement. acting as though they were lifelong friends. but in a way we were, we are all INFERNITES AT HALLOWMAS! One kid proceeded to read a large children's style book he wrote on sheets of construction paper. People laughed along with the story and clapped at its finale. The 800+ people who were already in (the show sold out its 1300 capacity) all cheered on the duck duck goosing, cheering when one got tagged, or when the chase was on. awwing when someone came close, but fell short. again, friendship was in the air.

at one point the heat of the crowd (i was in the thick of it) got to me, and i rushed out of there just in time to throw up in the urinal of the mens room. there was a tall weathered man in there wearing a choking victim tshirt. he responded "yeah, i've been there." i talked to him a bit and found out he was friends with the Inferno, and was running the mixer. As we walked away, he went back into the Authorized Personnel Only area, and that's when it hit me, i totally could've hung out with him, and possibly all of the band, getting the chance to meet Maura Corrigan (<3heart<3) but i was so braindead from exhaustion, it didn't occur to me at the time. the universe presented me with a moment, and i let it pass. but, there's always tomorrow.

what else can i say?

oh, i met some cool people there, one of which was a cool chick named Sasha. her jacket was much like mine, except camo. At the bottom it said "SPRAY PAINT THE WALLS". we talked a bit, danced around flirtations, mosh-waltzed a bit, moshed a bit (she started it up with me more than once too.) and talked a bit after. i helped her find her shoe. then, we said our goodbyes. we exchanged no numbers or email addresses. nothing more than a knowing glance of "What-ifs". There's a good chance i'll never see her again. And I'm okay with that.

LINKS:
Tattoos Fade
A Night In The Woods
Millicent Didn't Want To Wait For It To Get Better
The Politics Of Passing Out
Tarot Americaine
One For The Witches
...And Embarked On A Life Of Poverty And Freedom...
Ladies And Gentleman Of The Road
Addicted To Bad Ideas
Zen And The Art Of Breaking Everything In This Room
Let's Steal Everything
Cats Are Not Lucky Creatures
"M" Is For Morphine
Just The Best Party

and finally, the photos:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/violentgrind/sets/72157622586883253/

okay, so while responding to a heartbroken friend on facebook, i managed to write the things i'm about to post. i'm only reposting them so that i can have them for easy access later in life, because i'm seriously impressed by what i wrote.

On whether its better to have loved and lost

i frequently debate this thought. it seems to come down to perspective. looking at love as a drug, or an addiction (and i think it's safe to say that it is) perhaps it is better to have never tasted in the first place. if you go your whole life seeing in black and white, and no one ever mentions color to you, you die in your own ignorant happiness, never knowing what you missed. but say you fall, hit your head, and for the next 24 hours, you see color. vivid color. you drink it all in, holding onto it, but then, it fades. you're back in black and white. are you better or worse off for the experience? is ignorance truly bliss?


On Giving up on Love

Unfortunately, that just isn't an option. As I've said, love is a drug that, once experienced, changes your world forever. As with all things, it brings both good and bad, and a lot times, it can seem like the bad outweighs the good. Especially when you're without love. But the pain is just an illusion. Just a reminder that you've still got the capacity for love, but it's falling into empty arms, used only at this point to fuel melancholy, nostalgia, and other such pleasant unpleasantness. The fact that your loneliness hurts means that you still have that piece of you, regardless of how bruised it may be. To deny yourself of that would be an exercise in futility and masochism.

You've tasted love, there's no going back.

So, for a little perspective I thought I'd look over the past year(give or take a few weeks, honestly) and see how i feel at the end of that. So here it is.

Cons:
Tweek Died
Back Injury
Dysentery
Got Dumped
Handled break up VERY BADLY. (seriously, i don't think anyone's ever handled a breakup that badly before)
Killed 2 cars

Pros:
Saw Rancid Live
Saw WIFS
Going to see WIFS @ hallowmas
Saw Rocky Horror again
Met some new people
Rode Go-karts




if i was going off of just numbers, it was a tie i guess. but it always seems like the bads carry more weight than the goods. SO this didn't really help, but it wasn't as bad as it coulda been.

Bleeding idealisms onto the tiles of a broken reality. It seeps through the cracks. There is a room beneath. I live in that room, a cup in each hand. The blood drips into each, alternating between them. The cup fills and I drink. Taking into me all that I've felt and know, filtered through the minds of the myriad of the mindless. Leave the cups. Leave the room. The door opens at my will. Though unprecedented, I am not impressed. The light burns through my eyes, which weren't ready to accept such a harsh reality. My eyes blink, open, shut. Adjusting to the light, it becomes obvious that there was no light, simply less darkness. Looking into the night, I am astounded by all that it holds. Agoraphodia sits in, and I turn back to look into the room where I had lain, only to see a deepening void, graciously accepting each beam of light, ingesting it like a glutton who's stomach never seems to fill. I fall in with the light. The void accepted me and accepted the light which I held within.

how was i supposed to know the nature of the unknown beast. it puts me in a forgotten state of wanting back the comfort....

a temporary regression can't do THAT much harm can it?...











(can it?)

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.

Pick Your Artist: Rancid

1. Are you a male or female?:
Junkieman

2. Describe yourself:
Outta My Mind

3. How do you feel?
It's Quite Alright

4. Describe where you currently live:
Rats In The Hallway

5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
1998

6. Your favorite form of transportation:
Meteor of War

7. Your best friend is:
Loki

8. Your favorite color is:
Black and Blue

9. What's the weather like:
Disorder and Disarray

10. Favorite time of day is it:
Midnight

11. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Rejected

12. What is life to you:
Journey To The End of The East Bay

13. Summarize your relationships:
You Don't Care Nothin'

Last relationship:
She's Automatic

Looking for:
Sidekick

Current relationship:
Listed M.I.A.


Wouldn’t mind:
Old Friend

15. What is the best advice you have to give:
Get Out Of My Way

16. If you could change your name, you would change it to:
Maxwell Murder

17. Thought for the Day:
I Am The One

18. How I would like to die:
Gunshot

19. My soul's present condition:
Injury

20. My motto:
I Wanna Riot

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions.

Pick Your Artist: World Inferno Friendship Society

1. Are you a male or female?:
Jerusalum Boys

2. Describe yourself:
With A Good Criminal Heart

3. How do you feel?
Addicted To Bad Ideas

4. Describe where you currently live:
All The World Is A Stage(dive)

5. If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
All Of California And Everyone Who Lives There Stinks

6. Your favorite form of transportation:
Trains

7. Your best friend is:
Me Vs. The Angry Mob

8. Your favorite color is:
Hothouse Flowers

9. What's the weather like:
Millicent Didn't Want To Wait For It To Get Better

10. Favorite time of day is it:
A Night In The Woods

11. If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Me Vs. The Angry Mob

12. What is life to you:
The Velocity of Love

13. Summarize your relationships:
I Wouldn't Want To Live In A World Without Grudges

Last relationship:
Glamour Ghouls

Looking for:
Annie The Imaginary Lawyer

Current relationship:
Nothing You Begin


Wouldn’t mind:
With A Good Criminal Heart

15. What is the best advice you have to give:
Cats Are Not Lucky Creatures

16. If you could change your name, you would change it to:
Peter Lorre

17. Thought for the Day:
A Night In The Woods

18. How I would like to die:
Me Vs. The Angry Mob

19. My soul's present condition:
Addicted To Bad Ideas

20. My motto:
Zen And The Art Of Breaking Everything In This Room

we will never run
into one another on trains
there will be no chance meetings,
we'll miss each other by minutes.
the habits and parties which brought us together
avoided, grown over, and left.
we will never run into one another on trains.

i wrote you a note saying i was leaving and left.
it's all yours or mine now
we might never meet again, you know-
it might just never happen.
we might never meet again, you know-
it might just never happen.
we will never run into one another on trains.

don't talk to ghosts
don't open the window for them
you don't slow your pace when you see them on the street
but if what they say about life after death being so sweet, about how sweet, how sweet it is then missing you so. . .
I miss you so.

looks like i'm losing my famous sense of humor
older than i look, younger by far than i feel,
and i feel fine as wine, duty free, aged, clear, pure and concealed.
Miss, tell me your name and where I have been
and where we are where are we now?
we will never run into one another on trains.

but if we do will i be dressed for the occasion?
this thought haunts me dressing or undressing mornings, it does.
Things that we play at are not us, i have not forgotten.

we might never meet again, you know-
it might just never happen.
we might never meet again, you know-
it might just never happen.
we will never run into one another on trains.
we will never run into one another on
trains.

http://www.monkeydog.com/moleeds/

yeah, but i'm still not entirely sure he gets it.

Millicent Didn't Want To Wait For It To Get Better-The World/Inferno Friendship Society

its over, boys
and i think i might die
and if i do it'll be ok
it'll be alright
i know it ain't been long
but i seen more
than i need to decide
that things are going to change
and i'm not,
remember me not
to the other side

oh its been fun
its been a real good ride
but the future is gonna be extreme
and i'm not
so goodbye
no you've been all fine
how i loved to fly
its just a cruel fucking world
and i'm not
remember me not
to the other side

Yeah, this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ0NG5cUC1w&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYX_zhlTDr8&NR=1
follow up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1B1HsQSDiY&feature=related

A little Foreign Flavor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-OqKWXirsU&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmSCh5ZkMqk&feature=related

take me to your dealer.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFAN3wdlrJg

Classic Racist Deserts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCKxWQCs3f0&NR=1

i'm done for now.

Date: (7/29/04)

sometimes your entire world will just collapse around you, leaving you with a desire to throw a middle finger to anyone who crosses your path and knock down those who give you a second glance. sometimes, you can stand beside a collapsing building and not notice until the last brick hits you and turn around... "huh, i seem to remember there being something there" but pass it off as vague memory that may have been a dream. so you pick up that last brick, and hold it close, you carry it with you all day, then at night, you lie down placing the brick on the pillow beside you. you wake up and it's gone. leaving not a trace, and you think about that last brick to that impossible building and realize that while you did indeed hold it, it was never actually there. the combination of physical and mental beings contradicting each other brings a tear to your eye, and you wipe it, just to realize your face is dry. so you lie back down, and watch the walls of reality melt.

and before you ask, yes, i've been very fucking emo lately.

( Everybody Wants to Rule the World )